mark (that's the hippie viking sperm donor) is doing some sort of observing or student teaching at school and i've been trying to avoid him, but i ran in to him the other day (he looked so much like zach galafinakis, it WAS funny) but that just makes me feel stupid too because being in high school is really embarrassing, particularly when everyone thinks that your older.

when cedar and i saw mark yesterday we both started doing the junior high giggly stupid thing which, inretrospect, i think is incredibly funny because normally it's little pubescent girls trying to look like britney spears giggling over some baby-faced mama's boy who's trying to look like justin timberlake. and for us, it was the two cynical lesbians giggling over the viking/hippie/zach-galafinakis-look-a-like guy chosen as the potential sperm donor.

megan keeps saying that it's really cute that i have a crush on him. but a.) i loathe the term "crush" and b.) i don't want him to be my boyfriend. i mean, could you imagine kissing him with all of that facial hair? and i do not subscribe to the idea that kissing him would be like going down on a girl (i don't remember which one of my friend's came up with that one) and sex? no thank you, i still fear the penis.

if it were up to me, mark would just be my really good male friend who goes to the movies with me every once in awhile and jacks off in a cup for me when i'm finally financially stable enough for children.

i actually had a complete loss of intelligence the other day and almost convinced myself that i could fuck mark, get pregnant, have my baby and not fuck my life up too much. because i guess in my moment of idiocy, i thought that if i just stayed at home and went to school here i could apply for welfare and then it wouldn't be too bad. and then all of my common sense returned to me (it apparently took a coffee break) and i am no longer plotting a pregnancy. besides, not only do i absolutely not want to live at home forever, but it's just wierd to have a kid that's only a year younger than your sister. and the whole welfare situation is never really a pleasant one.

i think my biological clock is a few years fast. i'm only seventeen and my maternal instinct is already running full throttle.

i'd be a damn good mom.

i already know what i'd name my baby.

hell, i've already picked out my baby's father.

he has such gorgeous hair and eyes. that's some great dna and i want it.

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