just fucking charming

2002-12-18
8:01 p.m.

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Sleep was ultimately more important - 2005-12-22
This shit is burnt - 2005-12-21
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the mercury on our dysfunctionometer is slowly climbing. i'm going to have to kill someone. dad is going through his annual woe-is-me, i'm jealous of the ex-spouses and step-parents, so i think i'll just be a huge pain in the ass. granted, i think he's justified in being pissed off about the fact that despite the fact that he takes care of his kids/step-kids on a daily basis and makes no distinction between those who are biologically his and those who are not, he still doesn't get to have his family at home on christmas day. and i think it's understandable for him to be pissed off at the fact that my step-mom goes out of her way to make sure that the kids have presents to give to their respective non-custodial parents, but not for anyone that actually lives in this house. but all he does is whine about everything and i'm really fucking sick of putting up with all of his bullshit. he lets her put him through all of the shit that she does.

today's wednesday and that means that i only have to endure two more days before christmas break starts at which point i will do nothing but sleep and work and probably eat more than i should and try to avoid my family whilst simultaneously trying to deal with not being lonely.

i read another girl's essay in writing today and she fucking used the word "whilst." what's that? so i thought i would try it on for size in the previous paragraph and i have determined that whoever that chick was (i think it was kathleen) is trying way too hard. or, if it was kathleen, then i can be more understanding because the child has no concept of what is normal and well-adjusted and socially acceptable.

cedar hasn't been at school for the past two days so i assume she's sick. i thought about calling her to find out if she's okay, which i'm sure she is, but i'm not in the right mindset for an extended over the phone conversation with her. it would probably push me over the edge.

i wish i looked like bettie page.

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