If you're not reading this, then obviously I'm just paranoid.

Bridget, all you have to do is tell me that I'm pretty and I'll leave you alone. A little acknowledgement is all that I'm looking for.

I know you're more queer than Ariel.

Today I met Erica's best friend, Brett, who is 15 and gay, but doesn't know it yet. My evidence:

*He claims that he is a lesbian with Willow from Buffy.

*He has pictures of Bif Naked and Avril Lavigne and other various females cut out of teen magazines and glued to the back of his notebooks.

*He is my sister's best friend (she's destined to be a fag hag)

*He wrote a song to the tune of "I'm a little tea pot" called "I'm a vagina."

*He knows every word to every song of Rocky Horror Picture Show and Chicago is his new obsession.

*He is obsessed with the fact that I am a lesbian.

*He told me where I could find all kinds of gay porn today. gee. Thanks, honey.

My mother is convinced that Erica and Brett like each other. No, Mom. I presented my evidence and she told me that maybe he just wasn't like other boys. You're right. He isn't like other boys. Maybe you just have to be queer to recognize those signals in others. He's so goofy cute and not stereotypical. I hope he stays that way and finds a little goofy cute boyfriend who doesn't care if his hair isn't jelled and doesn't listen to Mariah Carey and doesn't wear pleather.

Now I'm on a mission to find the perfect partners for Erica and for Brett. Forget my own love life, I must find happiness for my little legacies.

last - next