But I may never get there, because after calming down from my mad elated high I am more than tempted to lock myself in my room and hide underneath the covers for the rest of the weekend. I'm trying to be cool (read: sane) about this but I really don't know what to do with myself and I can feel myself teetering on the edge of a breakdown. Fuck.

What the hell am I doing?

It's weird because I swear that she's started sitting/standing/walking closer to me and she's been giving me these hot little smirks, particularly when others are not around. However, those could be things that I merely imagined. When my mind is in hyper-freakout mode, I have a hard time trusting my perceptions.

Do you suppose that she has any idea that she drives me this insane. It's so fucking ridiculous and I hate it. But I don't know what the fuck to do about it.

[growl]

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