In the last ten minutes, I have fallen totally in love with Tami Hart. I just got No Light In August today. Hot girls with acoustic guitars kill me. So if by chance you're ever looking to seduce me, the guitar is certainly the way to go. And "Druken Love Song" is the newest addition to my infatuation soundtrack.

I spent some time quality time with Mark, the now-shaven sperm donor, while we were straightening toys after close and I've decided that he gets to stay. He's just so goddamn nice and cuddly-looking that I can't not have him father my children. And sans beard, he has a sort of strange cabbage patch kid quality to him. I think he's just hoping that without the caveman beard, he will be able to secure stable employment. I can't argue with those motives.

They changed out dress code at work again. So starting some time in June, we all have to wear black pants and white collared shirts because we are trying to give Kmart a professional feel. But what we're going to end up with is just a lot of trashy people still looking trashy in black and white. Kmart is nothing more than a glorified discount store and I really think that it would be best to treat it as such. At least they haven't attacked the lax policy on piercings and the like.

How does one throw together a project in a couple of hours that encompasses themes from A Midsummer Night's Dream, Hamlet, Macbeth and Othello? Because that's exactly what I need to do before next Tuesday and I have no fucking clue. All suggestions welcome.

I think I'm going to go throw up now just for the hell of it.

Nah. I'll just go to bed and let all of the grease rot in my stomach.

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