Praise the Lord, Betty Bowers! I believe I have.

The opening quote was taken from Betty Bowers' FRAUD ministry. FRAUD, of course is an acronym for Femininity Rescues All Unladylike Dykes. Somehow this weekend I stumbled upon the Landover Baptist Church website and found some really great shit. Absolutely fascinating. And it all only begs the question, "What happened to survival of the fittest." Because for whatever reason, these fucked up fundamentalists haven't been killed yet.

My favorite part was a little review of the Blair Witch Project that one of the women wrote. "I had my hands over my ears about half the time and prayed against Satan at the top of my lungs every time a foul word was spoken onscreen. Then many of the liberal pagan heathens in the audience started yelling at ME, telling me to 'shush.' I stood up and read my bible out loud to those heathens, and Satan commanded them to throw popcorn and fountain colas at me. I knew that God allowed this as a test of my faith."

I just now noticed that in the article, the bitch forgot to capitalize 'Bible.' Oh, yeah. She's going to hell for that one.

And in case you were misinformed, SARS does not stand for severe acute respiratory syndrome. It stands for Sino-sinners Are Righteously Slaughtered.

These people are about 50 IQ points short of hijacking planes and crashing them into skyscrapers.

So anyway.

All weekend in my car I've listened to nothing but the White Stripes "Seven Nation Army" on repeat. And other than working, I haven't done much but sit around and stare at the walls. My computer time has been severely limited because Erica just got the new Sims expansion pack (and only because I was nice enough to lend her thirty dollars) and so her ass has not left the computer for longer than necessary this weekend. But Dad just opened up a letter from school saying that she was failing algebra, so my computer time should not be effected for much longer. She goes through this every year. She's too lazy to do her goddamn homework even though she has two study halls and then she fails the fucking class and then acts like she's been sold into slavery when mom and dad come down on her. Mom and dad don't tolerate fucking up. It's just not a game we play around here, so make sure you've got your shit together. You would think she'd catch on and just get her shit done. Stupid junior high kids.

I've got a four day week ahead of me at school this week and then I'm done.

Funny, I'm still not feeling sentimental.

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