I'm trying to figure out when I'm going to get my period because I think it's going to be soon. I have kind of a weird cycle so it's difficult to predict. I just wanted to clarify that for anyone who might think that I'm an idiot because I can't get the 28 days thing figured out. No, thank you, I've got it. I'm pretty familiar with the ins and outs of my body. I've tried charting it all out and what not but my ovaries just seem to have a mind of their own. But my point was that my hormones may be contributing to my recently violent nature. Note that I said "contributing." They are not the cause.

Speaking of such womanly things: Ruby to the gyno? Scary. I assume this is in regard to her "broken" vagina.

Anyway. Back to my insanity. The absense of routine is disasterous for Anna. I need to wake up to an alarm clock before my body is ready. I need to be rushed to get dressed before I have to leave the house. I need to stay up late to finish huge projects. I essentially need to have 5,000 things to do at once. And as long as I have a busy day in front of me, I am a relatively happy girl. There are certainly times in the midst of the 5,000 things where I feel stressed out and overwhelmed. But then when I get everything done, I feel proud of myself and I feel like I've accomplished something. I feel like a victor, and I'm very addicted to that feeling. And I'm not getting any of that right now. I'm just sitting around doing a whole lot of nothing. That's another thing: In the midst of a non-stop routine, when you do find time to sit around and do a whole lot of nothing it feels really damn good. But when sitting around isn't a reward for having gotten a shitload accomplished, then it's just guilt-ridden laziness. But it's okay, kids. Only three more months until summer is over. I'll pull through.

And on a hopeful note, I will be hanging out with Bridget on Friday night. At least, I assume so. I got an email from her tonight saying that she was available every night this week, and I wrote her back, essentially saying, "Pick me up on Friday and save me from myself." So now I have something to look forward to. But I'm not really sure what kind of night it's going to be because in her email she said she wanted to hang out because I'd been on her mind a lot for the past week. And that just seems like a kind of emotionally loaded phrase. I don't want any emotion, and I don't want any drama. I want to spend my Friday night stuffing me face and drinking a lot of coffee and talking bad about other people. But that's a night spent with Megan, not Bridget. I'm not sure Bridget and I will ever be able to get passed the "What are you thinking?" conversations. I think she's adorable and I'd love to hang out with her, but I really don't want to spend a whole night talking about her sexual confusion and all of these other little issues that she forgot to sort out while we were still in high school.

But at least it will get me out of the house.

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