But after that warm moment, the rest of the family came home and now I'm feeling quite irritated. My dad is being such an asshole. Right now he is reading a book about ADHD and so whenever you tell him to stop doing something annoying (this attempt to redirect my father happens rather often) he quotes some bullshit story from the ADHD book meant to excuse his behavior. You are not a second grade boy with a chemical imbalance, you are a middle-aged man who refuses to take responsibility for your actions. And he's on vacation this entire week. Not good, not good.

Thus far, the concept of the baby sleeping outside is not panning out well. I give her before the end of this entry before she comes inside. I'd let her have a slumber party with me if the girls kicked her out of the tent. I have a nice big bed that is warm and dry and soft, unlike the ground. I'm afraid if she sleeps out there, she's going to get too cold.

I'm just the older sister. I shouldn't be this worked up about it . . . but I can't help it.

Anyway. I feel bad right now because I'm a little irritated with Bridget. Maybe I'm not irritated with Bridget, just the situation. But I guess Bridget is the situation, so I'm irritated with her. I reread her psycho ranting email, and it just seems so . . . ugh. I don't know. She's told me multiple times that she doesn't know how real her attraction to me is. What the fuck is that? Does she think she's under the spell of my magical lesbian powers? And then whenever I'm with her, she makes it a point to remind me multiple times that she's straight. And everytime she says that, it naturally just makes me think, "No you're not." And then I feel bad for thinking that because I feel like I'm being the big bad dyke recruiter. The big thing that pissed me off when I reread what she wrote was that she said that what she most feared was that if she did something with me, she'd like it and it would feel right. And when I read that last night, I realized that this is not the first time she has said something to that effect, I just hadn't really been paying attention. I'm just frustrated because she won't let go of all this crap that she's carrying around with her. It's not that big of a deal. I'm not that big of a deal. So stop being such a fucking dork and kiss me already.

I don't foresee this issue as being something that I will discuss with her. Remember, Anna doesn't share.

[growl]

Here we are at the end of the entry, and not only has Gracie not come inside, but the tent has quieted down and I think they're all close to being asleep. I think I'm gonna cry.

Five minutes after posting this entry, Gracie came inside crying and is now warm and snuggly in her own bed, the Little Mermaid sheets tucked in tightly and the fairy nightlight illuminating her moon face. That's where babies were meant to be.

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