I went over to the girl's house and we were just sitting around upstairs watching some stupid lifetime movie that we were both just making fun of and the neighbors started to set off all of their leftover illegal fireworks. So Bridget suggested we go outside on the deck so that we could see them, which is such a corny suggestion that it made me want to eat her all the more. And tonight she was looking particularly cute because she was wearing her glasses and her hair is starting to get curly and she's just so damn nerdy cute. Anyway. We went outside on the little deck and stood by the grill and made feeble attempts to watch the illegal fireworks through the trees and it was here that many 'firsts' took place:

We kissed. And it was everything that kissing the boy never was. It was soft and sweet and short and I loved her for not being gross and slobbering on me.

She held me. Not just hugged, but held me there close to her for at least half an hour and made a point to hold me closer when she thought I was getting cold. And this is important to me because it's that much that I've been craving for so long.

She cried. Just a little bit. And she tried so hard to keep me from noticing.

She said 'fuck.' [sighs and smiles]

She referred to something about me as being 'cute.' It wasn't even until she said it that I realized that it was something she's never said before.

It was all so dorky which means that it was perfect because there's nothing suave and romantic about either of us. I kept laughing at her everytime she looked at me and she kept having to push her glasses up. And then her parents came home which meant we had to go back inside and pretend that we'd been watching tv the entire time.

I love that she's goofy. I don't care that she likes sports. I don't care that she likes to go to church. I don't care that she is still trying to be the model member of society. I don't care that all we do when we're together is sit around and watch tv. I think I could spend days doing nothing but lying around on the couch with her.

And I've only got six weeks before she leaves. I hate the world for that.

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