It is NASTY around here right now. Too hot and too sticky. The air is so heavy that it feels like you can't take a full breath. If it started to pour right now and the temperature plummeted about twenty degrees, I'm sure I'd have an orgasm in response to the natural release.

There is a little plastic cup from Pizza Hut that is sitting next to our computer right now and it has little pirate jokes all over it. Pirate jokes make me think of Jenna.

My father has become my least favorite person to be around. And I hate this since growing up he was the only person that I ever wanted to be around. He was the one who was at home taking care of me all day, he was the one that I lived with after the divorce, he was the one that I idolized. And now I can't stand him. He's so hard to be around. All he does is complain and look for sympathy. Everytime he opens his mouth whatever he says is just dripping with his woe-is-me bullshit and I'm so tired of putting up with him. If I try to tell him something, he won't even make eye contact. He doesn't spend any time with my siblings. He's stopped making any sort of contribution around the house. He just gets up and leaves for work at six in the morning and doesn't come home until after six at night. Then he sits through dinner bitching about his job and all the things me mom can't do right and then if we're lucky he'll just fucking go to bed. If not, he wanders around the house and puts us through a couple more hours of his shit. I don't think any one in my family wants to be around him right now. He's so fucking screwed up. I don't know what the hell happened to him. I just want to beat the shit out him until he wakes up and realizes what a fucking miserable idiot he's been.

I think this has something to do with my inability to face the thought of adulthood. I don't want to get any older than about 25. And it's not because I'm afraid to die. It's because I'm afraid that I'll end up absolutely fucking miserable.

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