But I do feel better knowing that Bridget is back from her little trip and safe at home where (I think) she belongs. I won't even see her until at least Friday but there's something calming about being sure that she's only ten minutes away. After three days of not seeing and/or talking to her at all, I'm at the point where I'm pretending to have to come to terms with the fact that when she leaves, it's all done with. What this means is that I think to myself "As of August 30th, any sort of relationship with her would be pointless. You're on your own again." I then marvel at my state of mental calm and think to myself, "See, you're fine." But this 'fine' is bullshit. Of course I'm calm because I'm not really thinking about it.

I don't have a set of clearly defined, understandable reasons for wanting her to stay here or to go, hate it and then come home. I want her around beacuse . . . I just fucking do.

I'll get over this eventually. You'll just have to bear with me for a few months. It might be worth it. I may reach a state of being that is so pathetic it suddenly becomes absolutely hilarious.

The Bridget update aside, I'd like to discuss sick fucks. Since the title of my little diary here is 'Just Fucking Charming' I get a lot of hits from people trying to find free porn. People have stumbled across my humble little page o'rants curteousy of key phrases like 'just fucking' or 'girls fucking' or 'dildo fucking' or I've even seen 'girls fucking animals.' And that's all fine. Personally, I'm not a fan of porn but the rest of you can have at it. But when I checked my referrers the other day and found that someone came to my diary while searching for 'little kids fucking' I was so disgusted I didn't even know what to think. So if you were the sick fuck trying to dig up the kiddie porn and found me instead, just know that if I were given the chance to club you to death like a lame deer in the middle of the road out of hunting season, I'd give it heavy consideration.

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