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. . just fucking charming .
. Karl, I love that when you offered a description of the boy that you met you included what sort of car he drives. This sort of thing must be important to gay boys. You never fail to amaze me and this is why I love you.

Today I was an hour late for work because I failed to reset my alarm clock for the appropriate time. And since I started my day off with such a stunning display of stupidity, the rest of my day was shit because I was just pissed off with myself and having to rush threw me off. But my manager didn't make me stay late like I thought she would so that was the one thing that went right today.

School starts in one week. Bridget leaves in five days. I will see her for the last time before she leaves in three days. What the fuck happened to my summer? If it weren't for this damn girl I would be excited about starting school again and glad to be done with summer. She fucked up my back-to-school biorhythm. But I suppose that's okay because she's so damn cute and I think she's THE BEST and so I will allow her the priviledge of letting her dabble in my realm.

Last night she came over and I gave her the cd that I made. But not before she gave me my own mixtape of her favorite songs so that I could have something to listen to and think of her. I think that definitely says something about us right there. And then we both had "So Far Away" on each of ours (mine the original Carole King version, hers the Rod Stewart cover).

Sidenote: We discussed whether my love of Carole King is as dorky as her love of Rod Stewart. She claims it is, but I don't think so for two reasons. 1) I am not obsessed with Carole King. In fact my love for her doesn't really extend beyond the thirteen tracks of Tapestry. And 2) Carole King never had a mullet or wore spandex on stage. She only needed her piano to be totally hot. Oh wait, I have a third reason too. 3) Carole King is actually talented. Feel free to contribute any thoughts or feelings you may have on the Carole vs. Rod debate. Okay. I'm done with that tangent.

It was just really dorky sweet and it made me want to kidnap her and lock her away where I could keep her to myself forever. Not really. Well, maybe a little . . .

And so now I listen to her tape whenever I'm in my car even though she put a little too much of that neopunk bullshit on there (any amount of this mtv brand of punk is really too much). And I tried to be open and listen to all of it, but I've found that in order to preserve my sanity it's best if I fast-forward through the Rod Stewart songs.

Laying together in my room, we found that we prefer opposite sides of the bed and that we sleep in positions that don't interfer which only perpetuates my she's-perfect-for-me mindset right now. And that's probably not a very good thing at this point in the game but I don't really give a fuck. If she'd just give up this bullshit of going to school out of state and just stay here with me I'd endure Rod Stewart with a smile. But I don't think it's going to happen like that.

Last night she said something about never forgetting me and about still talking to me all the time five years from now. Which just made me think 'In five years I want you in my bed, not in my address book.' And things like this can't be leading me to any sort of healthy point of letting go.

I'm not very excited to see how all of this is going to turn out between us. I just want it to stay like it is.

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