Naturally, Anna is sad.

I am also terrified and angry and jealous and excited and happy and hopeful and hopeless and empowered and completely beaten and whole other gammet of emotions that don't seem like they should be experienced simultaneously.

But she acknowledged the fact that she promised Megan to come home in a year, and dammit, she had better. She told me that she needed to go out and be on her own just so that she could finally realize that she had a life of her own that she could control. And so that she could learn to be more open and honest about herself. And that's fucking great and I agree 100% that these are parts of herself that she needs to find and that, for her, leaving home is the only way for that to happen. But I think that a year is plenty of time for her to do that. And after a year, she had better fucking come home. Or I will be crushed.

Because I think that she is the greatest fucking girl in the world and I love her like no one else knows. Come to think of it, I don't think I've even ever told anyone else that I'm madly fucking in love with her and that she means the world to me. But she does. And I miss her already and all that I can think about is how insanely great it would be if she just came home after a year. I've already drawn out a mental plan for the whole thing which is really bad because now that's all I focus on. She can home where she's most comfortable but with a new sense of self and then we can sort of melt our lives into each other. And she wouldn't have to keep me separate from her friends anymore and things could just be normal and laid back between us. And then the next summer we could get a little apartment together and maybe even a little fucking puppy (because she's allergic to cats and I'm not partial to the idea of having a box of shit laying around my house). And I would be the happiest fucking girl in the world.

I don't want anybody else. She makes me feel so fucking good that I just want to melt whenever I'm with her. And when she tells me about what her room looks like and the people that she's met so far and her roommate and getting lost on campus I hate it because she's outside of my immediate world. And I want her here. And I want her here forever. And I don't give a fuck about how stupid and unrealistic that may be.

And if you think I sound like an idiot because of this than just fuck off and go to hell because you have no idea how horrible this is.

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