Ruby- I was looking out for you all day today too. We'll find each other. It'll be okay.

Megan- I just love you.

Kim- I love you too.

Today was a really good day. It was my first day of class and I wasn't really very excited about it at all. I wasn't really very anything. I just showed up at nine for my lecture to learn that my 1:00 lab had been cancelled for the day. That gave me a pretty little six hour window during which I could do whatever the fuck I wanted to. I considered exploring the library and finding myself a special place to call home for the next five years or so. I even considered calling into action all the ambition I possess and meandering into places where other people were in an attempt to socialize. (Don't fret, my babies. I soon remembered that this game of socializing is drastically overrated.) So in the end, I decided to just take my sorry ass home. And not five minutes after I had my shoes and socks off (because when I am in my own house, I must be barefoot or I feel weird) the phone rang . . . and, yep, it was my girl. It was so pathetic but as soon as I heard her say my name I had a miniature catharsis and shed all of the worry and sadness that's been hanging over me for the last couple of days.

Have I mentioned how much I love this girl?

I had a little breakdown on Sunday night that lasted until 3:00 am this morning when I finished a five page crazy rant letter to Bridget talking about how sad I was that she was gone. (My sanity reigns supreme. I already threw the damn thing away.) But for that entire stretch of time I was genuinely freaking out. And the bulk of my worry centered on the fact that I just wasn't sure where I fit into her new little college world and I was afraid that she didn't love me and didn't want anything to do with me anymore. In retrospect, the whole idea is totally fucking ridiculous. Why would I think that she would go from being madly in love with me to being disgusted in the span of a three day weekend? Especially when I am equally in love with her and not anywhere near being disgusted. But it was a real fear at the time and it sent me sputtering and tear-stained into one of the most pathetic states of my life. But talking to her was the reassurance that I needed. She still loves me. I still love her. We're still 'us.' It's okay.

Megan and I are going to go see her in October. It'll be so fucking great. Bridget even hinted at more or less kicking her roommate out when we come. And I swear, Megan, we're not going to leave you out in the cold so that we can be alone. Perhaps we could enact Bridget's dream where she was dating both of us? Just kidding. I don't share well.

So after that I felt a lot better and opened myself to the realization that I get to be a big girl now and go to the big college and bum around the big campus and cum at the thought of the big library. And now I'm just really fucking excited. I was so excited, I didn't even notice the four hours that I spent at work.

Fucking great day.

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