Of course, that's the bullshit that I'm touting, but it's only in theory. And I think that things only feel 'okay' because none of it feels real. I feel like everything is standard procedure with the exception of a few new rules like no kissing and no saying 'I love you' and the added benefit of being able to lust after other ladies free from guilt. But there's effort involved in things like not telling her that I love her, because I do and I can't make a concious decision to rid myself of my love for her. So now I'm smiling and saying it's okay and pretending to be the friend and I'm clinging to the thought that if I stick close by, someday the planets will align and we'll fall into each other again.

When did I become so pathetic and base?

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