just fucking charming

2004-06-10
12:19 a.m.

Navigation:
- archives
- newest
- email
- rings
- book
- profile
- notes
- design
- diaryland

Last 5 entries:
Sleep was ultimately more important - 2005-12-22
This shit is burnt - 2005-12-21
- - 2005-12-20
- - 2005-12-20
- - 2005-12-18

I've realized that I'm very agitated right now-- so agitated that my thoughts constantly alternate between putting my head through a wall or beating the shit out of someone. I can never seem to choose between sadism and masochism. There are just a lot of little things going on right now that seem utterly ridiculous (you will understand once I get to the details) that all just make me seethe with rage. And I suppose the violence provoked by these minor inconveniences is simply the result of some greater issue that I need to deal with but the thought of digging that deep into my emotions at this point just . . . pisses me off. So here's the list of stupid things that strike me as being terribly wrong:

*I make $7.35 an hour working at fucking Kmart, and as far as I can see, the grass isn't any fucking greener any where else. Sometimes I wish I had what it takes within me to just be a whore.

*I have jury duty tomorrow, and because of it, I am going to miss work even though I told our fucking manager that I was going to have to be in court before she finished the schedule and you would think that she would have been smart enough to just not schedule me that day but no-- using logical thought isn't the Kmart way. And on top of that, I don't even know where the hell the courthouse is.

*Kyle doesn't work again until Saturday, so unless he calls me (which I'm not counting on) he won't be tagging along on Friday night. I am so obsessed with him and wanting him to like me that it makes me feel so damn creepy.

*My dog keeps shitting on the floor. What the fuck?

*I am feeling particularly sexually frustrated right now.

*I've completely ruled out the Peace Corps and now I'm not sure what the hell I'm going to do with myself once I graduate.

*I think I'm getting chubby.

*I realized today that I haven't written in my journal since April and I'm lacking in any desire to do so.

*My parent's divorce is looming over me while my mother is still completely oblivious about the whole thing. There's something horribly wrong with the arrangement of who knows what in this situation, and it makes me feel like a disgusting person. And just as I was beginning to have a hint of faith in the institution of marriage.

I've also been listening to The Darkness a lot, but strangely, every time I listen to them, I just want to lay in bed all day long, mentally weeping. This provoked by The Darkness-- 80's hair band satire. I'm in a funk to say the least.

Thus far, the highlight of my week was hearing that there is a possibility that Martha Stewart's case might be dismissed because one of the prosecutions witnesses purged himself. Damn straight. Leave her alone, ya fat fuckin' bitches.

Oh, and thanks to Megan my hair looks good enough to provoke Karen to say that I was a hot mama and that she'd do me.

last - next