Today was move-in day so it was crazy at work. It was also crazy because it finally hit me that school is actually starting soon. And I don't feel like that's a bad thing-- far from it-- but it doesn't feel like it's time yet. It seems like the older I get, the more out of whack my internal sense of time gets. But I'm definitely ready to to be done with this summer. It was unequivocally shit.

I don't know if that last sentence even made sense, but fuck if I care.

There are, however, a few things that I am afraid of in the face of this new school year:

*Having class with Lisa. I know it sounds lame, but for the love of sanity, spare me. I'd have to kill her.

*Getting screwed over at work. I feel like it's just a matter of time before I go to check my schedule and find that I've only been given 16 hours. The Kmart corporation if nothing but a ruthless, dirty son of a bitch and I'm just standing around waiting for it to bend me over and fuck me too.

*My car dying. Then I'd really be fucked.

*Becoming desperate.

I'll elaborate on that last one. I've recently realized that I am lonely, which I hate to say because loneliness sounds like the ultimate weakness to me. "Lonely" resonates in my mind as a synonym to "desperate." Regardless, Bridget opened up a little crevice of desire within me that was never there prior to her paying me any attention. And so now I miss having someone who thinks I'm fucking great and brilliant and hot and who feels protective of me, and I miss feeling the same way about someone else. And feeling this way makes me worry that I'm going to do something stupid like settle and waste my time on some fucking idiot or worse yet, go to desperate measures to find some fucking idiot to settle for. I just don't want to be a pathetic person.

I am, however, 96.4% sure that I know that name of the soccer player that is the recipient of all my lustful stares. It makes me feel like less of a creepy loser knowing at least that much about her.

In related un-news, I've been practicing my seductive (at least, that's the goal) glances should I be put in the position to make eye contact with her, or anyone else for that matter. Sometimes I like to try my sex-pot eyes out on pretty boys. Whatever. It's no secret that I'd totally have a sex-only fling with the right man.

I already said that I'd marry the Zen guy and let him be my sugar daddy. And a good eighth of me meant it, too.

Holy shit. I think I just realized the magnitude of me "freak"-ness. Fuck.

By the way, Karl is looking uberhot these days and I feel that he will find himself a man in no time. And I am totally going to drop in and visit him sometime.

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