Last night, I went to my mom's for dinner and while I was there, an English teacher named Tony called and asked her out on a date. She took his number and told him she would call him back when it was convenient for her. My mom kicks ass.

Kim got hired to be a baker at Perkins in a matter of 15 minutes. Those muffins are going to taste so much sweeter knowing that she baked them. She also didn't let Adam fuck around with her at all. Kim totally kicks ass.

Ani and Margaret Cho are going to be in Madison in a little over two weeks. Megan is going to be my concert date. Ani, Margaret and Megan kick ass.

I saw my dad while I was shopping Friday night and he talked to me like I was the coworker he was trying to get fired, using his semi-feminine voice and his nasty fake smile/laugh. He ended our conversation with a heartfelt [cough, cough] "Take care." He's so far from kicking ass, he can't even get his feet up off the ground.

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