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. . just fucking charming .
. Hi! You've been inspiring nothing but the most inappropriate thoughts in me for awhile now, and so I was just wondering if you would be interested in having sex with me. Please check all that apply and return this to me in a timely manner:

yes ____
no ____
perhaps ____

Kyle, I think if we pool our incredible amount of knowledge on the subject and write a book about dating and relationships, making sure to include the above message on business cards in the back of the book, we would be on our way to making millions in no time. We might even be able to buy two dolphins, then breed them and sell their dolphin babies. Then we'd be set for life.

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