I also talked to Nikki tonight and . . . ugggghhhh. Even if she isn't lying to me and she really didn't tell people that we had sex, I've realized that she is not the kind of person that I want to be around anyway. She's a fucking drama queen and she always just wants people to feel sorry for her. But I don't, nor do I believe her. And I worry that this makes me look like a cold hearted bitch, which I don't want, but I know better and so I'm just going to hold onto that.

I was actually pretty proud of my part in the conversation because I was honest instead of trying to be nice. So I wasn't ambiguous at all and told her that I didn't believe her and that I had no intention of hanging out with her. And I'm generally really bad about being up front with people about the way that I feel about those kind of things because I am always stressed out about saying the right thing instead of my thing. But I said my piece tonight and didn't really give a fuck about what she wanted to hear and as cold as that might also appear, I'm really proud of it.

On a more positive note, I went craft shopping today and spent a mere $40 for which I got: four sewing patterns, everything that I need to finish the bag that I'm working on, more sock yarn, enough yarn to make the shrug that I want to start when I'm done with my bag, a retro-looking brooch to use in place of a button on the shrug and a really cool book of floral cross stitch patterns that involve tye-dying the fabric to make really awesome backgrounds. I'm going back tomorrow to get more of the fabric that I bought to line my bag because I'm absolutely in love with it. Plus, it's only $.97 a yard, so I can't go wrong. I'm ready for summer.

I also slept until 1 this afternoon and then spent half an hour in bed reading Kerouac. It felt so fucking good I can't even begin to describe it.

Jessica called me again tonight and we had a really great conversation which involved both of us opening up to each other about crappy shit we've had to put up with from our families. This is definitely a lot harder for her than it is for me so it was really cool to talk to her about that kind of shit. I'm really glad that I had class with her this semester because I definitely didn't give her enough credit when we started working together, but she's really cool.

And so, despite the shit that's gone down these last couple of days, I feel good about summer and I feel good about myself.

Fuck yeah.

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