Gracie and Sarah spent the night with me last night because my mom is up north on a horse back riding trip with her sister. Everything went really well save for the fact that there wasn't room for me in my own bed and I had to sleep on the futon. I also had a sort of knock-down-drag-out fight with Gracie this morning over a fucking pair of socks which she was refusing to wear because although she is only five she is one of the most neurotic people I know. And of course, we're both aries to we just locked horns, totally unwilling to bend, but I eventually won because I am bigger, louder and she had to go to school. Certainly not one of my finest moments and I still feel like shit about it. I wasn't totally obstinate--when she got out of the car to go to school I apologized and gave her a hug. I'm hoping it made her feel better even though it didn't do much for my guilt.

My dad told me today that he's moving back to Stevens Point sometime around the beginning of November. And he didn't offer any explanation or anything because apparently we're not allowed to talk about that kind of stuff. But I found myself feeling incredibly sad for him and even somewhat comforted by the fact that he is going to be near again. And I sure as hell can't explain what that's all about.

I feel like shit, really. Not physically, but emotionally. I'm at another one of those points where I invent phantom women and think about the way they might love me and consider pouring a second cup of tea for some lusty Elijah who may come disguised. Yeah, I feel like shit.

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