We won�t have to wait much longer until the President�s leaning tower of legal Pisa hands down its decision, �til the neo-pioneers plant their flags in our bellies, stake a national claim on the body of every woman.

We won�t have to wait much longer to be colonized and civilized.

Salvation is on its way, ladies.

Our conservative saviors will sweep down and end the evil with those unstoppable Christian-right morals (because somebody�s gotta pay for the campaigns), and in a nation-wide epiphany of femininity, we�ll realize the magnitude of our wrong. How barbaric! How absolutely ungodly! It�s the root of the destruction of our culture, no doubt, this idea that

We should be in control of ourselves.

The clinics will close and girdles will come back in style and every girl will have fantasies of vacuuming in pearls. And when we buy a new dress from the department store (knee-length, of course) we�ll ask to keep the hanger, and explain

�I�m going out tonight with my boyfriend. We�ve been going steady for two whole weeks and he�s got a big back seat.

I just might need this in the morning.�

God bless America the way it should be, marked by the rotting flesh of women.

God bless the counter-progressive decay.

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